I'm sure Fordham is the Lower East Side of something

What is this strange picture you ask? Why, it's an aerial picture of Fordham! Where'd I get it? Spy planes. That work for google. But no, if you look closely you will see that it is actually Hoffman and Fordham Rd. right by that bar you always walk past and never actually go in.
Apparently there have been strange happenings at the freshman/local bar 'The Lantern'. On Tuesday nights, really tan girls and guys must step aside to let in the hipsters. Is that what the kids are calling themselves nowadays? You know, those girls and guys who are both wearing faded women's size 2 skinny jeans with short messy hair that is covering their face making it nearly impossible to distinguish gender. But it is so passe to poke fun at those kids when all they are after is...dancing? It's like they've all moved to that city I don't remember the name of in footloose where dancing was illegal. And that city is located within the lantern. And the hipsters are the rebellious youth. And on Tuesday nights they rebel. I don't know, this is what I gather from the event description and the stories I've heard. In any case, tonight the FUperficial will investigate.